Jellyfish & Dragon Tattoos by Faith Gardner

     Merlin collected jellyfish, but it was more than a hobby. Merlin had a passion for jellyfish, a clear obsession. He dreamed jellies at night. He planned his vacations around the best ocean spots to catch them and even risked imprisonment for smuggling a jelly back from South America—a highly illegal and dangerous operation that involved a large trunk filled with ocean water and protozoa. He succeeded in his mission and the South American medusa, a flower hat jelly named Poseidon, now resides in his living room, in an oversized tank pumped continually with filtered ocean water and enriched brine shrimp. Merlin enjoys gazing at it at night like most men enjoy staring at football on television.  

But then again most men watching football on television don’t have the sense of satisfaction that Merlin does as he gazes at Poseidon in the evening. Regular men just flip on the television and that is that. Merlin researched his entertainment, painstakingly so—he stalked the flower hat jelly that floats in his aquarium like a chandelier and spent his vacation kidnapping him from Argentina.

Flower hat jellies are exquisite invertebrates. They are milky-white and transparent, with tentacles dangling from around their umbrella-shaped heads. The tentacles seem to have little beads attached and this gives them the appearance of floating lampshades. Poseidon had been relatively easy to catch, due to its small size. Next on Merlin’s list is the purple stripe jelly and a spotted comb jelly. One day, with a large enough tank, he hopes to acquire the Portuguese Man-O-War.

The Man-O-War is one of the most infamous jellyfish in the world. Their tentacles can grow up to 165 feet long and dangle down into warm, tropical waters. Their sting is one of the most potent known to man, about three-quarters as strong as cobra venom—terribly painful, and sometimes deadly.

At the age of seventeen, Merlin was stung by a Portuguese Man-O-War while vacationing with his family in Hawaii. The winds were blowing the jellyfish close to shore. Not being a native, and being quite drunk on Pina Coladas his older brother Lenny had requisitioned on his behalf, Merlin swam into the ocean despite the signs on the beach warning of the giant stinging jellyfish. He didn’t think to wonder why he was the only human bathing in the sea.

Now, at the age of twenty-nine, Merlin still remembers the pain of the Man-O-War. It was the first moment he truly knew he was alive—truly, actually alive. And he has welts that run vertically up and down his back and sides to prove it.

“What are those scars? God, did your dad beat you up as a kid or something?”

That is what Janna asked when Merlin was naked in front of her for the first time. Not technically naked, but in his boxers and mostly naked. Janna was a tattoo and piercing artist, and she pronounced her name Yanna. She put holes in people for a living, not because she enjoyed it but because she was interested in getting free tattoos. She had almost butt-length wildly wavy hair that she dyed red and a great body that she colored all over. Merlin secretly considered it a shame that such a gorgeous woman should want a bunch of stars and snakes and shirtless mermaids permanently stained on nearly every inch of her skin.

When Janna asked about his scars and his father abusing him, Merlin was lying on his back with his hands tucked under his head, legs stretched out, ankles crossed. He was relaxed. It was a Friday night, the payoff of his dull Monday through Friday vocation selling suits to real assholes at the Men’s Wearhouse. He had a couple pints of Guinness at the bar with Janna before they retired to his apartment. And he replied,

“A Portuguese Man-O-War, baby. The most powerful jellyfish sting in the world.”

“Really?”

“Nothing but the truth.”

“Will you always have those scars like that?” she asked.

“Probably.”

“They’re pretty cool. You should just get a long tattoo over them, up your whole body. Maybe of a python.”

“I don’t think so,” said Merlin.

On Janna’s back there was a giant faded tattoo of a snarling dragon. He was repulsive and scaly and barely green anymore; worse still, he took up her entire back. Janna had now been introduced to Merlin’s scars for the first time, and it was Merlin’s first time meeting Janna’s unsightly dragon.

“I’ve never seen that before,” he said with a frown.

“Yeah, well, I usually keep it covered up. It was my first tattoo and I don’t like it so much.”

“It’s not so bad,” he lied.

“I know it’s pretty stupid. I got it when I was sixteen. I’m going to get it covered up soon.”

“What if you got a tattoo of a regular back on your back?”

“Real funny, Merlin. Seriously, though, I’ve been thinking about covering it up with a wolf on the moon. Either that or a tarantula.”

“What about a porcupine?”

“That’s so dumb.”

Janna slept over that night. Merlin noticed she liked to hold his finger in her palm while she slept. It was endearing. Most women wanted to be held all night, held as closely as possible and nearly swallowed. But Janna slept on her side of the bed and asked only for his index finger for comfort.

L-O-V-E was tattooed along her knuckles on the hand that held his finger.

The next day he showed her his jellyfish room. She had seen the flower hat jelly that lit up his living room and sat on the floor like a kid during Saturday morning cartoons to watch it. Now Merlin showed her to a door at the end of his apartment.

“This used to be the laundry room,” he told her. He pushed the door open. Electric blue light illuminated the space inside, pouring into the room from the dozen or so round aquariums stacked atop one another against the wall. In each aquarium a unique jellyfish floated in the water like a delicate, dripping bubble.

“What the hell? How did you get all these?” Janna asked, walking inside and turning around to behold the fizzy tanks and floating medusas.

“I caught them.”

“You did? All by yourself?”

“All by my lonesome.”

Janna’s mouth was agape. She pointed to the largest one, floating in a vertical tank, with a charcoal umbrella and shadowy long tentacles. “You caught this?”

“Yeah, in Southern California last summer. It’s called a Black Nettle Jelly. They’re fairly common.”

“And this?”

“Just a normal comb jelly.”

“Where did you catch that one?”

“In Maine, about five months ago.”

“Oh my God—what’s this one? The one with the lights in it?”

“The crystal jelly.”

“Why is it all blue-green like that?”

“It has these photo proteins—it’s sort of complicated to explain. They have a special gene. Scientists actually spliced the gene into mice DNA in an experiment that I read about, which meant that when the mice were put under a blue light, they appeared green. And scientists use these photo proteins to study lots of genetic stuff nowadays.”

“I don’t know what you’re saying. All I know is that one’s my favorite—the jellyfish with the lights in it. Look at those tiny ones!” Janna shrieked, pointing to a shelf of four tiny aquariums in a row.

“Yeah, those are interesting, huh? I actually caught them on accident a year or two ago when I was looking for the Black Nettle Jelly. At least I came home with something that time.”

“So sometimes you don’t catch anything at all?”

“Usually I catch nothing at all. That’s just how it is. Sometimes the jellyfish are laying on top of the water in swarms and it’s a cinch. But usually you have to find them. It’s about ninety-nine percent luck, I’d say, and one percent skill and timing.”

“This little one is the most adorable creature I’ve ever seen!”

“It’s a sea wasp. That adorable creature contains enough poison to kill sixty human beings. That one next to it is called the umbrella jelly.”

Janna breathed and listened to the bubbling of the filters and the water being pumped through the many aquariums.

“They sting?”

“If you stick your hand in the tanks, yeah. I’d advise you not to.”

“Well, I mean—how did you catch them?”

“This box I made out of wire. It’s like chicken wire but much stronger. Then I line it with a soft mesh fabric to avoid tearing the little guys. I go out in a boat with a snorkel and look around. If they’re way underneath me, I lower the wire box with a chain. Then I bring it back up again and transport them into an aquarium I have on the boat.”

“Is it illegal to steal jellyfish?”

“Probably. Everything’s illegal nowadays. But I’m not afraid of the law.”

Janna’s gaped at the puffy, transparent creatures. Merlin watched her much in the same way.

“I want one,” she said.

“I’ll tell you what. If you still love me when I go looking for the purple stripe jelly this winter, I’ll bring it back for you.”

“I never said I loved you.”

“You don’t have to. It’s written all over your face.”

Janna smiled and shrugged her shoulders. “You’re amazing, Merlin. Wherever did I find you?”

Janna, in fact, had not found Merlin. Merlin had found Janna. He had gone with his older brother Lenny to the tattoo shop where Janna worked so Lenny could get a tattoo of his fiancée’s name on his chest.

“It’s her birthday,” Lenny told Merlin. “She’ll love it.”

“And what if you break up?”

“Fuck that. We’re getting married, Merlin. We’re not ever going to break up. She’ll love it.”

Incidentally, only a month later, Merlin was sharing a bed and promising jellyfish to the tattoo artist who etched “Carlita” onto his brother’s chest—not exactly promising jellyfish, but offering them to her in the future if their affections lasted. And Carlita had already dumped Lenny, presumably because she thought his birthday present to her was “retarded.”

“I’m on the lookout for a little lady named Carlita,” Lenny told Merlin. “And I hope to God she won’t be a bitch like the last Carlita.”

Lenny did a lot of PCP in high school. Everyone who met him and was informed of this seemed to have an epiphany. “Ohhhhh,” they would say, “that explains it.”

At the time she met Merlin, Janna had been seeing a Bulgarian piercing artist employed by her tattoo shop. His name was Wolfie but he looked like a metallic, clanking weasel. He had two-hundred sixteen piercings on his body during the period they had dated. The first night Merlin and Janna kissed Merlin asked her,

“How come you went from being with that pierced weasel to me?”

“He never said I was special. He didn’t even speak English,” Janna had answered. “Besides, I’ve never dated a man who wears a suit and doesn’t have a tattoo. It gives me a rush.”

That’s how they had come together.

So now Merlin decided to move all of his jellyfish tanks to the living room, which took an entire weekend. It was Janna’s suggestion. She was spending so much time in his laundry room when she visited. “My little blobby friends,” she called them. “Let’s move them all out there together.”

Merlin’s living room was beginning to resemble a wing of the Monterey Bay Aquarium.

“Have you ever thought of starting a jellyfish zoo?” asked Janna.

“I saw a psychedelic jellyfish tank in Berlin once. That made me want to do something like that.”

“Not a tank, dummy. A whole goddamned zoo.”

“No, I’ve never thought of that.”

“I’ve thought about it. I mean, not with jellyfish. I thought about starting one with monkeys. I love monkeys so much.”

“Hey, what if you covered up the dragon tattoo with a monkey, then?”

“Oh, Jesus. Give me a break. You want me to put a monkey on my back? Oh, Lord.”

He didn’t mind the new dragonfly that appeared behind her ear, or the lily that was now growing underneath her armpit. Even the crescent moon on her ass wasn’t so bad, although the cow jumping over it was a little much in his opinion. But Merlin was quite bothered by the dragon on her back. It looked melted to him.

“Why are the aquariums round?”

“The corners of a rectangular tank can hurt the jellyfish. So can gravel and anything else in an ordinary tank. They have special filtration systems, too.”

“What is that you’re feeding them?” asked Janna.

“Enriched brine shrimp, mostly.”

“Is that like sea monkeys or something?”

“Yeah, sort of. I incubate the cysts for 24 hours and then have to separate the cysts from the shells before I feed them.”

“I don’t know what the hell that means. Hey, Merlin—let’s mate them.”

“What?”

“I mean, let’s get them to do it.”

“Jellyfish don’t do it. I mean, not like us. They usually have to be the same species, and the male and female spit their sperm and eggs out of their mouths when they’re ready.”

“You mean, they barf it up?”

“You could say that.”

“Nevermind. I don’t want to see that. I want to see a jellyfish make love.”

“Good luck. As far as I know, it’s not exactly possible.”

Merlin enjoyed how much Janna appreciated his passion. She thought about things differently than him and it was refreshing. For example, during his ten-year-long pursuit of jellyfish he never thought of what it would be like to have a jellyfish zoo, or to watch a pair of jellyfish make love.

“Maybe I should try to catch two of the same species and see if they breed,” Merlin said.

Janna agreed.

Lately, she was beginning to run out of space on her body for art. Her arms were covered thickly with vines and cartoons and words, her legs were cluttered with foliage and sailor’s tattoos, her stomach had roses and butterflies every which way, and her back was occupied by the hideous dragon.

“I wonder what your tattoos will look like when you’re older?” Merlin asked her once. “I mean—do tattoos age too, or do they always look the same?”

Janna’s eyebrows knit themselves. They looked like little red checkmarks that were upside down. “Why? Are you planning on getting old with me or something?”

“I’m just talking,” said Merlin.

“You don’t like my tattoos, do you?”

“Of course I like them!”

“Why with all the weird questions, then?”

“I love them, don’t get me wrong, I just don’t understand the point of it. I mean, it’s a kind of compulsion, right? When you think about it, I mean.” Merlin bit his tongue.

“And what’s the point of catching a bunch of jellyfish, Merlin? They don’t do anything.”

“Yeah, they just look cool.”

“And so do my tattoos,” she pronounced before flouncing off. In Merlin’s blue and white bathroom with the aquarium wallpaper she closed the door and took off her shirt to stare at the withering dragon on her back. She bit her lip and turned a couple different angles before sighing and pulling her shirt back on again.

At the same time, Merlin was staring at the jellyfish tanks and thinking, I wonder if you’re all bored inside those round little tanks? I sure would be.

Janna came out of the bathroom with a frown on her mouth.

“Do you think I’m ugly, Merlin?”

Merlin stared at her for a moment. “Janna—”

“It’s okay if you do. I just want to know the truth.”

He gave her a lopsided smile. “Janna, I think you could tattoo the word SHIT on your forehead and still be the prettiest girl I know.”

She took a step closer to him, still frowning.

“You could tattoo polka dots or stripes all over your body—”

Another step. Same frown.

“And I would still find you incredibly sexy.”

One more step. Now they were face to face.

“I want to be unlike anybody else,” Janna answered.

“You already are.”

“I mean, I want to be special.”

“And you are.”

“Do you love me?”

Merlin laughed.

“Why does that make you laugh?” Janna frowned deeper.

“Well, I—I don’t know.”

“I want to know the truth is all. Don’t be afraid of hurting my feelings.”

Merlin and Janna gazed at each other. Merlin smiled and touched her nose with his finger.

“I’m going to Monterey next weekend with Lenny,” he said. “We’re going to look for the purple stripe jelly. Will you come with me?”

Janna sighed.

“Just say yes.”

“Yes, then. Okay.”

 Janna forced a little smile. Merlin was aware it was forced. A half-hour later Janna announced she was tired and wanted to go back to her place. She called a cab and didn’t kiss him good-bye. Merlin pretended not to notice or care.

It was the first night in a month Merlin slept without Janna. He had a dream that he saw her on a black, sandy beach. She was standing in the green waves, holding an umbrella. She didn’t have any tattoos and when he waded into the water and tried to talk to her she didn’t remember who he was. In fact, she yelled at him to leave her alone. Her exact words were, “Fuck off, pilgrim.”

His alarm clock woke him up. When he sat up in bed he felt a cramp in his gut, as if the dream had been real. He grabbed his phone and dialed her number.

“It’s Janna. Leave me a message and if I like you then maybe I’ll call you back. Maybe.” Then the beep.

“Janna … it’s Merlin. I had this dream … ”

An image, produced by his own brain, stopped him mid-sentence. The image was of Janna and Wolfie, the Bulgarian piercing artist, naked in bed together. In Merlin’s imagination, they were talking about him. “He collects jellyfish?” the Bulgarian was saying, roaring with laughter. It didn’t matter that he didn’t speak English in real life. The thought of it turned Merlin’s blood cold. 

Merlin realized he was still on the phone with Janna’s message machine. “Oh—uh, yeah. Yeah. Call me back.” Then the click.

In a strange, insecure daze, Merlin squeezed into his suit for work. When he came out into the living room he found one of the jellyfish floating atop its tank. It was the dead crystal jelly. “The one with the lights in it,” as Janna had named it. It made Merlin depressed. He scooped the lifeless blob out of the tank with a net and flushed it down the toilet.

That week Merlin called his brother Lenny to make arrangements for the trip to Monterey. There was much to explain and re-explain to him. 

“Don’t touch the jellyfish,” Merlin advised him for the third time.

“Oh, okay. They can sting, right?”

“Exactly. And we have to be gentle when we catch one.”

“Shit, I can do that.”

“We’ll be in a boat out on water—”

“Rad! Man, I’ve never been on a boat before.”

“Yes you have, Lenny. And we’re driving your truck, right?”

“Yeah. No problem, dude.”

“So then pick me up here on Friday night at seven. We’ll start driving to Monterey and get there in about five hours. I booked us at a cheap motel in Seaside.”

“Is that chick coming?”

“She hasn’t called me in five days. I don’t know. I’m assuming it’s just you and me.”

“You broke up, bro?”

“I’m not sure.”

“If you did, could I maybe have her number?”

“No.”

Merlin was worried about Janna. He was mostly worried that she hated him. That she suddenly found him dull with his jellyfish obsession and his suits and returned to the Bulgarian with two hundred plus holes in his flesh who never said she was special. Maybe he should have said he loved Janna even though he wasn’t sure if he loved Janna.

Who cares about “love?” Merlin thought as he lay in bed. All I know is I think about her more than I think about jellyfish.

He had nightmares involving the weasel and Janna. When he would wake up in the morning and leave for work he had to remind himself they were just anxious dreams. Still, they left a horrible, lasting impression on his day’s mood.

Friday night Merlin came home from work. His bags were packed and ready for the trip. He was bringing three round aquariums of different sizes, nets, the wired box, snorkel, goggles, a wet suit, flippers, plankton, brine shrimp, and a filtration system attached to a small generator. For himself he packed a pair of underwear and a toothbrush.

The doorbell rang.

“Come in, Lenny,” yelled Merlin from his bedroom.

Merlin heard the door open and shut. He zipped up his backpack and put it over his shoulder before turning around and seeing Janna in his doorway.

“Hi,” she said. She was smiling. Her hair was fastened with chopsticks on the top of her head. She reminded him of some comic book character a teenage boy would dream of.

“Janna!” Merlin was so surprised he dropped the backpack on the floor and then tripped over it while trying to make his way over to her.

She laughed. “Happy to see me?”

“Yes! Where have you been?”

“I‘ve been busy this last week. Can I still come to Monterey with you?”

“Of course! I didn’t think—I mean, I thought you didn’t want to.”

“I do. I packed a bag and everything. I brought my video camera too, so we could tape it if we want. Then maybe we could make a cool documentary or something and be famous and win awards.”

Merlin took her ketchup-colored head in his hands and kissed her.

“Sorry I didn’t call,” she said.

“DUDE! ARE WE READY TO FUCKIN’ GET THOSE MOTHERFUCKIN’ JELLYFISHES OR WHAT?” screamed Lenny, bursting through the front door and running into Merlin’s bedroom. He was wearing a fisherman’s hat and a shirt with a marijuana leaf on it. Seeing Janna, he straightened up. “Sorry, lady, man. I didn’t mean to ruin the moment.”

“It’s okay,” Janna said. “I’m ready to get the motherfuckin’ jellyfish.”

“Right on!” Lenny screamed. He made a passionate pantomime, pretending to play a madcap solo on his air guitar and leapt with a rock star-like yelp.

They took Highway 1 to Monterey. The view was incredible. It was dark, but the moon was bright and full and cast a silvery glow over the ocean. Lenny blasted KISS tunes the entire way there and yelled off-key with every word. He spit on his dashboard and hit the steering wheel with invisible drumsticks. When each song ended he screamed YEAH! as if he was watching the band play live in concert. Janna, seated between the two brothers, held Merlin’s finger in her hand and fell asleep halfway there. Merlin wondered what had made her go away and then come back to him again but he didn’t want to ask her. It felt fragile, dreamlike.   

When they pulled into the Seaside Village Inn it was after midnight. Lenny was still trying to sing, but his voice was gone. Merlin carried Janna into their room and laid her gently on the bed. He set the alarm.

“Fuck,” Lenny’s raspy voice managed to say. “Let’s party, man. Go get some dope or beer or somethin’. It’s not even one yet, man. The bars aren’t even closed.”

“We came here to catch a jellyfish, Lenny. You can party every other day of the week. And you do. But tonight we need to get rest because we’re waking up at five-thirty tomorrow morning.”

“Five-thirty? I don’t think I can do that, man.”

“Well, you will.” Merlin shut off the light and crawled into bed next to Janna. In the dark, he heard Lenny utter a hoarse “fuck, man” before he collapsed onto the other bed. Two minutes later, Lenny was snoring and laughing in his sleep. Janna held Merlin’s finger. She never snored, but sometimes she whistled through her nose.

Merlin always had a hard time sleeping before the jellyfish expeditions, a lot like how kids have trouble sleeping the night before a trip to Disneyland. He didn’t mind, though. He was teeming with adrenaline as he imagined the endless possibilities the next day could bring. It never went smoothly or predictably. Sometimes he went home with nothing. Sometimes he came home with five different species he hadn’t even planned to see. Once he somehow caught the skeleton of a cat. How the hell did a cat get out into the middle of the water? Such mystery.

There were a couple dreams about jellyfish before he woke up with the alarm. He jumped out of bed, smacked the alarm off with his hand, and yelled, “Let’s get up! Let’s do this thing! Let’s go, let’s go!” to rouse his partners.

Merlin had prearranged the boat rental at the dock. A man in a pair of dirty coveralls named Seymour was waiting for them with the boat; it was small and barely fit the three of them and the equipment. He gave them life jackets and ordered all three to put them on, although Lenny protested that they looked lame.

“You kids know what you’re doin’?” Seymour asked.

“I’m a veteran of the sea,” Merlin replied as they started the motor.

“Navy?”

“No. I’ve just spent a lot of time there.”

“Well, be safe. Good luck.”

“Thanks, Seymour.”

The boat whined and took off into the ocean. Lenny howled like a coyote. Janna put her hands over her ears.

Five minutes later, Merlin cut the motor. Lenny stopped screaming and looked around at the open water. It was windy and the fog was thick. The dock was barely in sight. A seagull flew overhead and defecated on Lenny’s lifejacket.

“Man!” yelled Lenny. “Even out here I get shit on.” He pulled the lifejacket off.

“Don’t take that off, Lenny.”

“I’m not wearing a dorky-looking jacket with birdshit all over it.”

“It’s better than drowning,” Janna said.

“I don’t need a lifejacket,” Lenny said. “I can swim.”

Merlin stood up and grabbed the chicken-wired box. It resembled a rabbit cage lined with soft mesh fabric attached to a heavy-duty chain about twenty feet long. The top of it was open.

“So here’s how it works,” Merlin explained. “We’re going to lower this box down slowly, almost all the way the chain can go.” He demonstrated by placing the cage with the open-end up into the water and feeding lengths of chain, foot by foot, after it. It soon disappeared into the murky blue-green sea.

“You think of this yourself, bro?”

“Yeah.” 

“You’re a fuckin’ genius, man,” Lenny laughed.

“Pay attention, Lenny. This is important. Now, once you’ve come to the end of the chain, you bring it back up as slowly as you put it down there.” He pulled the box back up again to demonstrate. There was nothing in the box.

“That’s it?” Janna asked. “How do you even know there are jellyfish in the water?”

“I’m getting to that,” said Merlin. He handed the chain to Lenny. “Now you try.”

Lenny concentrated hard on imitating what he had just seen his brother do. “Lower it slowly … bring it up slowly … how’m I doin’?” he asked when he came to the end of the chain.

“Good. Go a little gentler, a little slower. If you catch one and you aren’t careful, you’ll kill it.”

As Lenny focused on pulling the chain up in the most delicate fashion he could, Merlin opened his backpack and retrieved a wetsuit and a snorkel mask. Janna watched him shed his lifejacket, undress, and crawl into the suit. She stood up and zipped it for him. He strapped the goggles and snorkel mask onto his face and pulled a pair of flippers onto his feet.

“Man! I did it!” Lenny exclaimed. He pointed to the box in the water. There was a goggle-eyed fish with long feelers coming from its mouth, flapping around the bottom.

“Ew, that thing is gross,” said Janna. “Make it go away.”

Lenny leaned over and tilted the box to its side. The fish disappeared into the water again. He turned around proudly, wiping his hands. Merlin was fully dressed in snorkel gear.

“Why are you wearing that?” Lenny asked.

“Schopin zare,” he replied from inside the mask.

“Scoping the area,” interpreted Janna.

Merlin gave the thumbs up sign and jumped into the water.

“Be safe!” Janna yelled. 

Merlin stayed at the surface of the water. It was much warmer than he expected. There were tiny fish darting in and out of view. He swam further, looking down into the endlessness of dusty green water. Planktons everywhere. He made a mental note to bring some of the plankton home even if he didn’t catch a jellyfish. Plankton and copepods. He had a tiny, fine-screened cup for it.

Then Merlin saw it: the floating milky orb maybe five or eight feet ahead of his face. He stopped and backed up, popped his head out of the water to locate the boat and screamed, “Over here! Over here!” He waved his arms. The snorkel and the distance made it impossible for Janna or Lenny to understand him, but they turned on the boat’s motor and guided it in Merlin’s direction. Merlin swam to the side of the boat when they cut the motor and climbed aboard.

“Right over there!” he gasped after pulling the snorkel off.  He pointed at a spot in the water about six feet away where what looked like a plastic bag was floating near the surface. “Jesus, I’ve never found one so easy! It must be because you came.” He winked and kissed Janna and then smacked Lenny’s butt with his flipper. “Okay. It would be best if we kept the motor off now, just because we’re close enough that it might make it drift away from us. Or get sucked into the motor. I’ve seen it all happen, folks. Now this is where the skill comes in.” He grabbed the two paddles resting at the boat’s side and sat down. Both oars went into the water and he rowed—gently, gently—toward the jelly.

“Stop!” yelled Lenny. “That’s good. That’s enough.”

Merlin and Janna stood up and peered over the edge with Lenny. The translucent head of the jellyfish was about a foot and a half away from the boat.

Lenny grabbed the cage and yelped in excitement. He leaned over with it, ready to submerge it in the water.

“You’d better leave this part to me,” Merlin advised.

“No way, man. I know what I’m doing.”

“If you don’t do it right the jellyfish is going to get stuck. You can tear it apart. These creatures are made of over 95% water. You’ve never dealt with anything this delicate.”

“Let me! Please, please? Please, man! Come on, let me!” Lenny whined. “That’s why I wanted to do this with you, bro. I wanted to feel the rush myself. It’s like video games, man. It’s so much better to play them yourself than to like, watch someone else play.”

“Fine,” Merlin said. “But be gentle. Start a little on the left when you lower it down. Then bring it up towards the right so it’s directly beneath the jellyfish and it doesn’t tangle the tentacles. Once you’ve done that much hand the chain to me.”

Lenny screamed, “ROCK AND ROLL!” and lowered the chain into the water.

“To the left!” Merlin yelled.

“Right, right.”

“Left. And slower, gentler. You’re overexcited.”

Lenny was shaking as he pulled the chain back up. “Don’t yell at me, man.”

“Well, it’s not lined up! Don’t do it so fast.”

The box came up off-angle with the jelly. As Lenny pulled it out of the water some of the long tentacles snagged the side of the box.

“Dammit, Lenny. Give it to me,” Merlin said. Lenny handed the chain over, scratching his head and looking disappointed.

“What happened?” said Janna, peeking at the box.

“The jellyfish is half in and half out. His body is in it and his tentacles are hanging over the side. Through the side, too, maybe … open the aquarium over there, Lenny. Drag it over here. The big one. That one. We might be able to figure this out somehow.”

Lenny obeyed. The aquarium was soon relocated next to Merlin’s left foot.

“Dammit,” Merlin said, staring at the empty tank and shaking his head. “Dammit to hell. The aquarium isn’t big enough … never mind. There’s no way this is going to work.”

“What?” said Janna. “No, Merlin, it’s so pretty!”

“God, Lenny, I wish you wouldn’t be such a screw up sometimes,” he muttered.

“I’m sorry!” wailed Lenny. “Jesus, I’m sorry. Don’t throw it back.” In an instant, he reached his hand toward the box, grabbed the tentacles and pulled them over the edge and back into the cage.

About three seconds later he began to scream. He held his hand out toward Merlin. Lenny’s eyes were popping out, red and crying in an instant. There were three long tentacles still stuck to his hand.

“Jesus, what did I tell you? Don’t touch the jellyfish! Don’t ever touch the damn jellyfish!”

“I know!” yelled Lenny, still holding the hand out to Merlin. “I was trying to fix it! Help me, help me God!” Tears streamed down his face.

“Hold the chain,” Merlin said to Janna, whose face betrayed her total panic.

“Okay,” she stammered. “Lenny, you’ll be okay.”

“NOOOOO!” Lenny’s hand was swelling up and turning pink. He screamed obscenities. Merlin rifled through a bag and pulled out a first aid kit, extracting a pair of tweezers.

“Hold still!” Merlin instructed him. Lenny was shaking. “You have to hold still for this to get better.”

“I C-C-CAN’T!” shrieked Lenny. Tears streaked his face and snot ran from his nose. “IT H-HURTS SO BAD!”

“I know, Lenny. I know.” Merlin positioned the tweezers and picked the remaining tentacles off Lenny’s stinging hand.

“IT STILL H-HURTS --”

“I know, brother. We’ll go back ashore now and get you some vinegar.”

“What about the jellyfish?” Janna still held onto the chain.

“Fuck the jellyfish,” he said. “Lenny’s in serious pain, here.”

“Am I—am I—am I going to die?” sobbed Lenny.

“No. This one doesn’t kill, it just hurts like a bitch.”

“Get the—the jelly—take the fish for Christ’s sake.”

“Lenny—”

“I won’t die, man. You’ve already caught it. Just put it in the damn tank. OW, JESUS H.—”

Merlin fastened the chain to a hook in the side of the boat, allowing the cage to stay slightly submerged. Janna helped fill the aquarium with seawater; they dipped it in the ocean and lifted it up together, placing it in the middle of the boat. Next, Merlin hooked the filtration system up to the portable generator and the fish tank. It whirred; Merlin grabbed hold of the chain.

“I’m just going to leave the cage inside the aquarium. We’ll deal with it when we get home.”

He lifted the wired box gingerly out of the ocean and lowered it into the tank. The jellyfish floated up into the middle of the water, its tentacles intact. Merlin slid the screen onto the top.

“We’re done, Lenny.”

Lenny was submerging his hand in the ocean and saying the Lord’s prayer.

The boat ride back was silent, except for Lenny’s frequent exclamations of pain. They returned in five minutes. The fog had burned off in the short time they had been out there. Seymour was waiting in his dirty coveralls by the dock. He had heard the screaming.

“What’s going on here?” Seymour asked.

“He got stung by a jellyfish,” Merlin said, tying up the boat to the dock. “Do you have any vinegar?”

“Sure. Sure I do. How you feelin, buddy?”

“PAIN,” replied Lenny, crawling out of the boat.

“Okay, let’s get you inside.” Seymour patted Lenny’s back.

“We’ll be there in a second,” Merlin said. “Janna and I are going to unload the boat.”

“Those are some lovely tattoos, Miss,” said Seymour before escorting Lenny to the bathroom.

“Thanks.”

Merlin turned to Janna.

“I’m sorry this ended up such a disaster.”

“A disaster? Don’t you mean a success? I mean, you caught it, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, but my brother—”

“Oh, Merlin, he’ll be fine. You told him not to touch the jellyfish. It was a dumb thing for him to do.”

“If he hadn’t done it, the jellyfish would have died,” Merlin pointed out.

“Which is exactly why I call this expedition a success.”

He wrapped his arms around Janna. She was so skinny he felt he could wrap his arms around her twice. They stayed like that for a moment, rocking back and forth, before unloading the boat.

Merlin drove the truck home instead of Lenny, who had gauze wrapped around his hand like a giant white mitten and sat staring out the window as the KISS album blasted on repeat.

“Well,” Lenny said as they parked the truck on Merlin’s street. His voice was hoarse and his face was tear-stained. “What a fuckin’ adventure. I don’t think I’ll do that again.”

“No more expeditions for you?” Janna asked.

“No more touching the jellyfish,” Lenny said.

“A wise philosophy,” said Merlin.

Lenny fell asleep on his brother’s couch as soon as they entered the apartment. Janna helped drag the aquarium inside. Merlin hooked up the filtration system and set it up in his bedroom while Janna ate ice cream from the carton. The two of them lay on his bed and watched it float majestically in the glass. Merlin kissed the dragonfly behind her ear.

“Your favorite jellyfish died the other day,” he told her.

“How sad. The one with the lights?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, its okay. Now we have a new one.”

“I’m naming it Janna,” said Merlin.

“Really? How nice.”

“It’s yours.”

“Mine?”

“You can take it to your apartment if you want.”

She paused. “I think I’ll keep it right here, if that’s okay with you.”

“That’s fine.” He traced the outline of her face with his finger. “Why didn’t you call me this last week, Janna? Did I screw up?”

“No.”

“Did you have an affair with the Bulgarian? Wolfie?”

She laughed. “Why would you think that?”

“I had dreams about it. You called me a fucking pilgrim. You didn’t even recognize me.”

“No. That’s not why I didn’t call you, Merlin. You want to know why I didn’t call?”

“Yeah.”

She took off her shirt and turned around. On her back, on top of the terrible wilted dragon, there was a midnight blue outline of an enormous, brilliant jellyfish. Its long tentacles reached down her back and around her left hip.

“It’s just the outline. I mean, there wasn’t enough time to get it colored in yet.”

“Oh, Janna, I was just kidding about the dragon. You didn’t have to cover it up.”

“I already wanted to do it. Now, I know you can’t really tell how it’s going to look without it being filled in … I mean, that part will take awhile. But I was thinking a lot of violets and blues and maybe a little green. What do you think?”

“It’s amazing.” In fact, it was the first tattoo Merlin had actually liked on Janna’s body.

“It took a whole week. That’s why I didn’t call you. I wanted you to see it finished. I wanted it to heal and look just right for you.”

“So you do like me?” said Merlin. “You didn’t lose interest in me? You’re not fucking the weasel?”

“I’m not fucking the weasel, dummy. And I love you.”

“I think I love you too, Janna.”                                       

They stared at the tank again. Janna crawled onto his lap and kissed his cheek. He touched the outline of the jellyfish on her back, imagining it filled in with gleaming colors.

	About the Author: Faith Gardner lives in Oakland and attends UC Berkeley. When she's not nerding out at school or working, she's watching movies, playing Nintendo or writing. She plays in the band Hooray for Everything and her poems and short stories have been featured in publications such as The Rambler, Tales from the Asylum, and Sniplits.

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